The Father of the Bride’s Glorious Speech

*The sermon manuscript below was generated from the recording by AI and edited by Sjannette Hagoort

The Father’s Invitation

I don’t know about you, but I love weddings. There’s something really wonderful. It’s really special, isn’t it, when you get an envelope in the mail and you open it up, and sure enough, it’s a wedding invitation. And not only is it a wedding invitation, but you’re even invited to the ceremony and the reception. You didn’t just get the cheap ticket. You got the good one.

As a minister, I’ve been to lots of weddings. Half the time, I barely know most of the family and friends, but I’m invited, because I’m the guy standing at the front. But as a minister, one of the things that I always love is not so much all the speeches, but particularly the speech from the father of the bride. I’m not big on speeches, but there’s something about the bride’s father when he speaks and shares of his love for his precious little daughter, and the headship that he has had over the years, and this moment when he passes that to another man. There’s something very special in that moment. And the father will often address the husband and speak about responsibilities, and he will speak to his daughter about her responsibilities.

I want you to have that imagery in your head, the imagery of a father at a wedding addressing the bride, because that’s what we have before us.

Now, I will just briefly mention, there is debate about who’s speaking in verses 10, 11, 12. It could be the psalmist. It could be the God who anoints back in verse 7. A lot of the older writers, who I would side with, would say that it’s actually God the Father speaking in the marriage supper of the groom, Jesus Christ, and his bride, the church. And I think the Hebrew points in that direction, but either way, the meaning is the same. But just so you’re aware, there is this different understanding here.

However, we’re gonna take it from this picture of a father looking at his son, who has taken his bride, and the son’s song has been sung, and we have heard of his beauty, his winsomeness of speech that draws all men and women to himself, his glorious victories. We’ve seen his throne room, where he is enthroned with crowns and diadems and praise and glory and honor that far outstrips the sun, and that makes all of the kingdoms of this world look like thatched barns. And now our attention is drawn not so much to the king, but to the queen, and it’s with this fatherly word of counsel to the queen that we are concerned this evening. And it’s really a summons to all of us, not just to the queen in the song. It’s to the Church of Jesus Christ throughout all the ages, and it begins with a Father’s invitation.

As the Father begins His speech, He cries out with bold clarity, “Hear. Hearken. Hearken to me, O daughter. Consider. Incline your ear.” Verse 10, “Turn your ear towards me.”

Why does He begin this way? Well, it’s striking that the message of the world is normally what? Seeing is believing. And we believe and interpret through the lens of our eyes, but biblically, as believers, we interpret through the lens of what? Our ears, because it is by hearing the Word of God that faith comes. It’s by hearing the promises of Christ that we are built up in our faith in order to labor for Christ and have assurance till the day of His return.

But there’s another reason. It’s not just because hearing is the primary mechanism whereby the Word of God comes to us. It’s because the Church of God can be very deaf, and we individual believers can be what? Slow of hearing, hard of heart, and unwilling to heed the call of Christ. We’re not just talking about for salvation. It’s not just that people are unwilling to heed Christ’s call and come to Him, but the Church of Christ throughout the ages has had a constant problem of refusing to listen to our God. And it’s not just the New Testament church, is it? Is it not true of Old Testament Israel? Isn’t it striking that Ezekiel 33 is written to a covenantal people? Ezekiel 33, we read it before. And God pleads with His people, “Why will you die?” Why will you die? God’s not unwilling to forgive. He’s not unwilling to embrace His people. He’s not unwilling to bestow upon them all that they need, but what’s the problem? The people of God are unwilling to listen and follow their God.

And this invitation, as it comes to us with a sense of the imploring nature of the Father, “Please listen to me. My daughter, I know there have been many times in your life when you have not listened to your Dad, please listen to me now. This is of absolute imperative nature that you hear what I have to say.”

But the other reason it’s so essential for us to hearken, to look, to consider, to turn our ear, is because what the Father speaks is life and life in its fullest sense, doesn’t He? Do you remember those precious words of Jesus, where He says, “The thief”—speaking about the devil, John 10—“The thief only comes to kill and destroy, but I have come to give life.” He wants to pour out upon you life overflowing, more life than you need.

You see, this is the Father’s way. He is bountiful, he is gracious, and all his ways are good. And so he speaks to his church, and he addresses his church. He says, “Listen to me, for I have a way, I have a path for you that is peace, that is joy, that is life in its truest and fullest sense. Listen to me.”

Immediately a challenge comes to us, doesn’t it? Do we heed the word of our God? Do we hearken to God? When God speaks to us in the preaching of his word, are our ears attentive or are we distracted by other things? Are our ears listening, looking, seeking for food, or do we come, as is so easy to do, with a critical approach that looks for reasons to complain about the preacher or the service leader, to find reasons to say, “It wasn’t a very good sermon today. I’d score it a five out of ten. I’ve heard better.” And to be fair, so have I. I would listen to Sinclair Ferguson over myself every day of the week. But Sinclair Ferguson’s not here, and he doesn’t know you, and he doesn’t love you, and he doesn’t pray for you. And God has given us men, whether here or elsewhere, to bring the word of God to us. Do we heed the word they bring? And do we take up his word and read it and seek to find the way that he wants us to go? For as he says in Psalm 119, his word is what? It’s a lamp, and it’s a light. Why? Because this world’s so filled with darkness, don’t you see? And without a light, we will stumble and fall.

And so the father comes and he pleads with his daughter to hear his voice. He brings an invitation, summoning her to hear him.

The Father’s Instruction

But then the father moves on and he brings her the father’s instruction. And so he says to her, “Forget your people and your father’s house.” And then further down in verse 11, “He is your Lord, bow down to him.”

The father comes because he knows that his church is, at times, wayward and confused. But in this scene, it’s because she’s young and inexperienced. She might get it wrong. And so he comes with two very important instructions, which we often cite to young married couples.

If you’re talking to a young couple who are struggling with overbearing parents, I’m sure you’ve seen these couples before, they get married, and there’s the controlling parents that won’t let them go their own way and do their own thing. Or one of the spouses, maybe the wife, keeps running back home again, and the mother-in-law keeps interfering. There’s a phrase we often use, “Leave and cleave,” because Genesis 2:24 says that man shall leave his mother and father and do what? Cleave to his wife. They make a new family.

And in our instruction from our father in this section, he’s telling us to do just this, to leave and to cleave. And so He says, “Leave.” He says, “Forget your people. Forget your father’s house.”

Last week, we talked about the daughters of the king coming in, and we spoke about the fact that the people of the nations were being depicted as coming in as the daughter of the nations. And this is a follow-on from that. You see, the queen of Christ is made up of redeemed people from every tribe, every tongue, every nation, and every one of them has had to leave another world, another kingdom, another family, so that Jesus would say, “Anyone who does not hate his father and mother is not worthy to be my disciple.”

Why would the Father feel it’s necessary to give this advice? Well, consider Old Testament Israel. There they are, marching out of Egypt feeling excellently about themselves. They’ve just plundered Egypt, taking all it’s sliver and gold, and they’re marching off; victorious. But then they get to the water, they sit before the sea, and what do they immediately do? “We should’ve stayed in Egypt! We could have died there!” And five minutes down the road into the wilderness, what do they do? “Moses, we’ve got no water. You said you’d bring us to a promised land with milk and honey. We’ve got nothing. All we’ve got is this filthy manna. Back in Egypt, we had meat pots. We had cucumbers and onions and leeks. We were basically living in the Garden of Eden. Joy and peace, we had everything we ever wanted.” Of course, it was all a lie. We know that. They were in slavery and bondage. But you see, they forgot God and looked upon the world with longing hearts.

And brothers and sisters, aren’t we like this at times? Doesn’t the proverb sometimes stick; “The fool returns to his folly like a dog to it’s vomit.” Isn’t it often true of us that we have been purchased at a greater cost than Egypt, the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ? And then we forget our husband, and we look to the world, and we remember the people we used to spend time with. We remember our old friends. We remember the old lusts of our flesh. We remember the idols of our hearts. And we go, “I remember how much joy they gave me. It won’t be long, just once.” And have we not seen lives of people ruined by just once?

The psalmist and the Father Himself are calling us to leave behind what clings to the flesh. It’s like Jesus reaches in the Sermon on the Mount, “If your eye causes you to sin,” do what? Rip it out! If your foot causes you to sin, cut it off! If your arm causes you to sin, cut it off! Better to go into heaven blind and crippled and one-armed than to be able-bodied and perish in hell forever. Don’t return like a dog to its vomit, brothers and sisters. It’s a lie. The devil will tell you, the world will tell you, “Come and buy our wares. Aren’t they wonderful? Come and shop from us. We have all the goods that you could ever need.” And they all lead to a hole, a bog, like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress. Into the Slough of Despond he goes. Don’t do it.

The Father says forget. Like Paul, forget what lies behind. In his case, it was pharisaical perfection, persecution of the saints, everything a Jew could ever want. Forget what lies behind and press on to the upward call of Christ Jesus.

What clings to you? Let me ask you. What is that particular sin? Be honest with yourself. What is that particular thorn that sticks that you are unwilling to rip out? We all have one. Forget where you came from and be like Abraham. Remember Genesis 12? God appears to Abraham and he says to him, “Leave your father’s house. Leave your father’s land and go to a place that I will show you.” What does he do? “Well, I’ll go for a little while.” No, he packs up his belongings, he takes his wife, he takes his servants, he takes his nephew, and he leaves. How many times does Abraham return to the land of his fathers? Zero. Because he has thrown his lot in with the Lord, and so too may it be for us.

We leave what lies behind, but we also cleave. And so the Father says, not just forget, he says, “He is your Lord, bow to him.” See, it’s not enough for a bride just to pretend like she doesn’t have a form of family anymore, because she now has a new family, right? She now has a husband instead of a father over her, and her responsibility now is to submit to her husband, not to her father.

And so, the psalmist and our Father in heaven is calling us to submit ourselves in service and adoration of Jesus Christ. You see, there’s two aspects to cleaving. First there’s obedient service, in the sense of doing what needs to be done, which Christ requires of us. Christ is our king, he is our husband, he sets the pathway for our life, and we must follow him. And secondly, it is adoring reverence.

You see, because our Savior does not just want mere duty, and this is illustrated perfectly in a real marriage. Can you imagine if I went home this weekend and I popped out tomorrow, and I bought a bunch of flowers? Lilies, because that’s one of my wife’s favourite flowers, or tulips because Dutch flowers are superior, and I brought them home. And I knocked on my door, and my wife opened up the door, I pulled flowers out, and said, “I got these for you.” And she said, “Oh, honey, that’s so sweet.” But then I said to her, “Yes, it’s my obligation. It’s my duty. It’s what a loving husband has to do.” Well, she’d probably throw the flowers back at me. Why? Because the flowers aren’t the point, right? It’s an expression of delight that would make you bring flowers.

And so, Christ does not just want your legalistic, pharisaical obedience, he wants your delight in him. He wants you to delight in him, to declare him to be your Lord. Don’t you love that little verse? Maybe you find it a little bit odd, but in 1 Peter 3 where Peter says, “Be like Sarah, who called Abraham lord.” Now I don’t want my wife to call me lord, it would be a bit odd. But why do the scriptures say this? It’s a sign of reverence and respect, a sign of treasuring.

Our Father tells us, “Come to Jesus. Serve him as Lord, and adore him and worship him as Lord. Make him your chief delight and treasure above all other things.”

The Father’s Motivation

The Father’s speech is two-thirds through. He tells us that we ought to listen to him. He gives us that invitation. He tells us we ought to leave and cleave, and so he gives us that instruction, but fathers know, don’t they? Fathers know when their children are listening to them or not. And we can tell if they’re actually going to do what we say.

And so the father looks at his daughter, and he doesn’t just tell her what to do, he provides her with a glorious motivation. We see the father’s motivation to drive the queen to do what she does because she wants to do it, as opposed to out of duty. Have a look with me at the text. Verse 11 tells us, “The king will desire your beauty,” and 12, “The people of Tyre will seek your favor with gifts, the richest of the people.”

And so the Father lays before this bride three motivations.

1. Your Husband Desires You

Now you might find that a very obvious thing to say. Of course husbands desire their wives, that’s why they marry them, right? But is it not true that we can so subtly begin to treat Jesus as though He puts up with us begrudgingly because we’re not good enough? We never live up to the standard. We’re never really good enough. He doesn’t really delight in us. No, He puts up with us. He gave the price. He paid for us, and now He’s kind of stuck with us. This may sound comical, and we laugh, except for our heart very quickly believes that.

I was preaching in my previous church once, and in the middle of a sermon I said, “Do you know that the Lord your God is jealous for you, for the Church of Christ? Did you know that? He will fight for you. He is jealous for you.” And a very highly respected man came up to me and said to me, “The Lord is not jealous over His people. He is only jealous for Himself. He is jealous for His own name.” And I pointed into the Old Testament, I forget the reference now, but I pointed into the Old Testament where the Lord says, “I am jealous for my people.” Why? Because He loves them! He delights in them, so that in Zephaniah 3, He will say, “A day is coming when I will come to you, and I will shout for joy over you. I will delight in you.” He’s a Father who cheers us on, and we so struggle to have this in our mind, don’t we? We so quickly fall into an image of God the tyrant, when actually He’s a loving Father who delights in nothing more than His children, and of course, His eldest Son most of all.

2. Your Husband Desires Your Beauty

And what is true of the Father is true of the Son. We’re told that the Son desires and delights in His bride. He loves her. He gave His life for her. That’s how much He loves her. But He doesn’t just desire her without wanting her to grow. You see, one of the signs of someone truly loving someone is they want to embetter themselves, don’t they? I mean, what kind of husband would I be if I said, “Oh, I love my wife, but I don’t really care if she wallows in the mud somewhere. I love her, but it doesn’t matter if she’s not very smart or not well dressed, and I don’t really care what happens to her.” That’s not what a loving husband does, is it? No, a loving husband, he cares, and he nurtures, and he provides, and he ministers to.

And so, we see our King, He desires her beauty. What are we told in Ephesians 5? Jesus washes his bride with his word, sanctifying her and making her blameless. He’s not content to leave us in our sin. He will labor over us to present us perfect in our Father’s sight. Such is his love for us. Such is his care.

3. Your Husband Blesses You

He provides us with a third motivation in verse 12. He says, “The people of Tyre will seek your favor with gifts, the richest of the people.” Why the city of Tyre? Well, in the Old Testament, Tyre was a place very close to Israel, on its border. And in the times of both David and Solomon, when the Kingdom of God in the Old Testament was at its strongest, Tyre was a major trade partner who fully supported Israel in doing one very important thing, building the Temple of God. David went to the King of Tyre, Hiram, and said, “Please send me cedar wood. Send me this, send me that. Send me skilled craftsmen.” The chief skilled craftsman was half from Tyre, half from Benjamin, if I remember rightly. And all of these people of Tyre helped advance the Kingdom of God and the building of the temple.

And it’s this picture that the psalmist enters into. And he says, “Tyre, which is representative of all of the nations that love the Kingdom of God, will favor you and bring gifts to you and serve you.”

This is so important because so often we think to ourselves, “If I follow Christ, if I serve Christ, if I give up, then I’m going to lose.”That was the attitude of the disciples. Jesus says to the disciples, “If you want to be my disciple, take up your cross and follow me.” He says to the rich young man, “Give it all away and follow me.” He says, “I don’t have anywhere to lay down my head.” And the disciples start picking up the message. Eventually Peter comes to Jesus and he asks him, “Teacher, what happens if we give everything up? What about us? What are we going to get?” What’s his real fear? “If I give everything away, am I gonna go without?” What does Jesus say to him? He says, “Anyone who gives away house, land, father, mother, brother, sister, or their life, they will receive 100-fold in this life and in the life to come, with persecutions.”

You see, what our Father is telling us is, “Dear daughter, lay it all down, give it all up, take up your cross, and your husband will give you everything. He will provide you everything you need.”

And some of you know this, don’t you? When I became a Christian, my biggest concern was almost all of my friends were unbelievers, and I was worried I would lose them all. Praise the Lord I did, they were all drunks. But now I have far more friends I had then. Now, I have friends in England, American Samoa, America and Australia. And one of my best friends is about to be in Scotland, so then I’ll have one there too. I’ve got friends from the top of New Zealand to the bottom. Have I lost? No. 100-fold, brothers and sisters, with persecutions.

Conclusion

You see, we’re being motivated to faithfulness by three very important realities: our husband delights in us, he loves us, and our Father is cheering us on and rooting for us. And when we stumble, He’s not there with a stick. He’s there with loving arms to pick us up and brush off our knees. Yes, our Father disciplines those he loves, but He also cheers us on. Our husband, he delights to purify us, he sanctifies us and makes us pure, and it’s his work in us that transforms us and makes us a beautiful wife for him. And finally motivates us by reminding us that we will gain by giving everything.

Isn’t that what Jesus told us anyway? Why try and keep the world? You may gain the whole world and lose what? Your soul. Remember the Jim Elliot quote: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to keep that which he cannot lose.” He then hopped on a plane and got killed for it. Did he lose? He’s surrounded by angels, glory, and his husband in heaven. He’s a lot better off than we are. He gave what he could not keep, and he gained what he could not lose.

As I think about these two verses, I think about a very important story, the story of Elisha on Mount Carmel. We love it, don’t we? We love the moment when he ridicules Baal and asks if Baal’s in the toilet. It’s just a highlight in the Old Testament, let’s be honest. The word of God has such a great sense of humor.

But I wonder if it strikes you with weight after what we have just seen of forgetting, of leaving and cleaving, of hearing God, and of following our Savior when you hear Elisha say, “How long will you go on floating between two different opinions? If Baal is your god, worship him. If Yahweh is your God, worship and serve him. How long are you going to go on faltering between two different opinions?”

The challenge for us is that very question. Who will you serve? Because no man, Jesus says, can serve two masters. He will love one and hate the other. So whom do you serve? As a queen, as a church, as individuals, will we leave and cleave? Will we, motivated by delight, lay everything down and follow our Savior? Well, the choice is yours. May God grant us all the strength and grace to choose to follow and serve our husband.

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